The end of the month
It's the end of October. For a lot of people that means Halloween. In my country, it's not really celebrated. It's basically just a corporate thing and thats it. People drink at parties i guess, but kids don't go around for candy, at least not in the region that i live in. A lot of Americans are always a bit shocked when i tell them that i never did trick or treat when i was young, and to be honest i don't miss it nor do i miss not celebrating Christmas with presents and all that jazz (My family only does family dinner for christmas for two days straight it's the best) I'm not used to it so i don't miss it i think? It would be fun to try trick or treating once in my life however. But hey i'm a 23 year old i dont think they'll give me any anymore.
I suppose i'm going into the festive months without a job nor a relationship. Things are getting harder because these months are dark and cold, so winter depression is out here and i'm definately going down. I was already depressed but this shit goes even deeper. Despite all that i try to lift myself up now and then. I thankfully have some great friends around who help me when i need it. I'm already getting commisions and my first button order is on it's way. I'll try my best to live through these depressing months.
I got a Korillakuma plushy to help with that. It's coming all the way from California and i'm so excited!! I'll post a picture of it once it gets here! I think it'll be able to keep me company more. I already had that teddybear from my birth but surrounding myself with more cute stuff definately helps as well. Thanks to this, i started cleaning out my room. It was very much needed. I need to change things around completely. The idea was to make it more into a cutesy gamer girl room as far as i can try to achieve that look. It's quite hard but i'm sure i'll manage. It'll be a big task.
Good news though! I found back my Pokemon Moon game, and found out i was pretty close to the end. So, i'll be able to finish it before my Shield game comes here! I'll make sure to write about my experiences with the Shield game too in the future since there have been so much complaints about it that i'm itching to state everything that's good about it just to outweigh the Pokemon elitists that say they won't buy the game just based on the fact that their favourite pokemon isn't in the game and the fact that the trees look a bit off. It's a bit stupid in my opinion. Sure, Gamefreak needs to put in more effort, but are they ever gonna? I mean i could sit here and cite everything that i think is wrong with the new Project Diva game but SEGA isn't gonna change anyway so what is the point honestly. Fuck game dev companies, indie games is where it's at.
Do you think i'm ever going to learn how to plan my tasks and how to actually do them? I postpone them so much it's stressing me out. The wall of awful is out here to get me. There are tasks that i need to do in order to advance but i can't seem to do it. Being an adult is too tough, i want to be a kid again. I mean i'm baby after all (lol!) But seriously though, if i could be a kid again and do nothing but sit around and play videogames i'd do it in an instant. All these adult responsibilities aren't for me. I drown in them. For some reason i try to hide from them but they always come back and they only become worse because some are over their due date and it's bad because i don't wanna keep people waiting but i'm also so overwhelmed with life at the moment. I really need a break of it all. I've been saying it before but can someone please take me to a mental hospital so i can just be there with myself and maybe get some phsycological help too?
Ya see, i'm a true mess. And i'm really scared of the future. I don't even know if i have any at this point. I really don't.
I suppose i'm going into the festive months without a job nor a relationship. Things are getting harder because these months are dark and cold, so winter depression is out here and i'm definately going down. I was already depressed but this shit goes even deeper. Despite all that i try to lift myself up now and then. I thankfully have some great friends around who help me when i need it. I'm already getting commisions and my first button order is on it's way. I'll try my best to live through these depressing months.
I got a Korillakuma plushy to help with that. It's coming all the way from California and i'm so excited!! I'll post a picture of it once it gets here! I think it'll be able to keep me company more. I already had that teddybear from my birth but surrounding myself with more cute stuff definately helps as well. Thanks to this, i started cleaning out my room. It was very much needed. I need to change things around completely. The idea was to make it more into a cutesy gamer girl room as far as i can try to achieve that look. It's quite hard but i'm sure i'll manage. It'll be a big task.
Good news though! I found back my Pokemon Moon game, and found out i was pretty close to the end. So, i'll be able to finish it before my Shield game comes here! I'll make sure to write about my experiences with the Shield game too in the future since there have been so much complaints about it that i'm itching to state everything that's good about it just to outweigh the Pokemon elitists that say they won't buy the game just based on the fact that their favourite pokemon isn't in the game and the fact that the trees look a bit off. It's a bit stupid in my opinion. Sure, Gamefreak needs to put in more effort, but are they ever gonna? I mean i could sit here and cite everything that i think is wrong with the new Project Diva game but SEGA isn't gonna change anyway so what is the point honestly. Fuck game dev companies, indie games is where it's at.
Do you think i'm ever going to learn how to plan my tasks and how to actually do them? I postpone them so much it's stressing me out. The wall of awful is out here to get me. There are tasks that i need to do in order to advance but i can't seem to do it. Being an adult is too tough, i want to be a kid again. I mean i'm baby after all (lol!) But seriously though, if i could be a kid again and do nothing but sit around and play videogames i'd do it in an instant. All these adult responsibilities aren't for me. I drown in them. For some reason i try to hide from them but they always come back and they only become worse because some are over their due date and it's bad because i don't wanna keep people waiting but i'm also so overwhelmed with life at the moment. I really need a break of it all. I've been saying it before but can someone please take me to a mental hospital so i can just be there with myself and maybe get some phsycological help too?
Ya see, i'm a true mess. And i'm really scared of the future. I don't even know if i have any at this point. I really don't.
Comments
Post a Comment