My journey with my mental health
So I'll paint you a picture first: I was the quiet kid at school. To the point people forgot I was even there. I often sat in class just daydreaming. and when they did know I was there, I was called lazy. In hindsight I know that what I was going through was not normal. It wasn't what other kids were going through even though I thought it was.
It turned out all I was suffering from was executive dysfunction, and just ADHD as a whole. They called me lazy. They let me fly under the radar. They set me back an entire niveau because I failed in a bunch of classes because of not doing my homework. I failed tests because even though I study days before I completely forget it the next day. I struggled on my own for all of those years. And I believed, I strongly believed that it was normal to feel like that. Up untill I was like 20. It didn't hit me earlier. I could hit my teacher for not seeing that something was wrong. She didn't do shit. She should've. They should've helped me. I drowned in highschool. Right now I'm slowly recovering because of this amazing neurodivergent community online, which helped me so much with understanding myself.
I was misdiagnosed twice because I didn't know things that I was experiencing weren't normal. I'm going back to therapy as soon as I have financial stability, which will probably be in like three years. Because I'm a student and insurance still costs 300 euros a year if you want to go to therapy even here in the Netherlands. I'm an unemployed student. I can't do that.
Honestly I can't express enough how grateful I am for the neurodivergent community online. Not only did it finally give me a place where I feel like I truly belong, I learned so much about how my brain works, and how to deal with things. Influencers like HowToADHD and ADHDalien are the people who I'm the most grateful for. They've been able to help me out so much. Even if it was about me just needing to feel heard. Due to all of this, I was also able to find people in school where I can hang out with who let me just be myself. I can take the mask off and forget that I had checked in with my train card like a minute ago, because they are exactly like me. I found happiness in that.
It turned out all I was suffering from was executive dysfunction, and just ADHD as a whole. They called me lazy. They let me fly under the radar. They set me back an entire niveau because I failed in a bunch of classes because of not doing my homework. I failed tests because even though I study days before I completely forget it the next day. I struggled on my own for all of those years. And I believed, I strongly believed that it was normal to feel like that. Up untill I was like 20. It didn't hit me earlier. I could hit my teacher for not seeing that something was wrong. She didn't do shit. She should've. They should've helped me. I drowned in highschool. Right now I'm slowly recovering because of this amazing neurodivergent community online, which helped me so much with understanding myself.
I was misdiagnosed twice because I didn't know things that I was experiencing weren't normal. I'm going back to therapy as soon as I have financial stability, which will probably be in like three years. Because I'm a student and insurance still costs 300 euros a year if you want to go to therapy even here in the Netherlands. I'm an unemployed student. I can't do that.
Honestly I can't express enough how grateful I am for the neurodivergent community online. Not only did it finally give me a place where I feel like I truly belong, I learned so much about how my brain works, and how to deal with things. Influencers like HowToADHD and ADHDalien are the people who I'm the most grateful for. They've been able to help me out so much. Even if it was about me just needing to feel heard. Due to all of this, I was also able to find people in school where I can hang out with who let me just be myself. I can take the mask off and forget that I had checked in with my train card like a minute ago, because they are exactly like me. I found happiness in that.
Like I said in my last post about my mental health, things are weirdly looking up. I do have my downs though. Depression still hasn't left me, and neither did anxiety. But recovery isn't linear, and I'm just going for it. I'm hopeful. I doubt I'd tell you this when I'm back in the slump of depression at 3am, but right now I'm optimistic.
I hope my story would reach someone like me who needs to hear this. If possible, I'd like to inspire people in the same way HowToADHD does, just in my own way. Who knows what's in the future for me.
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