Thoughts about the mental health boom on social media

We might have all seen the videos or the tweets online. Someone talking about symptoms of their mental disability, and then it turns out to be autism, ADHD or any other developmental disability. There has been a lot of people speaking up about the topic and giving their two cents on it. Concidering that it's such a nuanced topic, I figured I'd write a blogpost about it, instead of a thread of tweets where people will ultimately misunderstand me anyway.

Because of the relatability of these posts, a lot of people start self-diagnosing themselfs. Understandably so. However, the concern from the mental health community is that many neurotypical people will take this and make it seem like our struggles aren't that bad because they themselfs went through it and it wasn't "that bad." And honestly I can agree that to a degree this is not what we as a community would like to happen of course. I would hate to see people downplay that what has been basically ruining my entire life from the start as something insignificant, and that I should "try harder." 

However, as someone who has been in a long process of understanding myself since my early 20s I came to realise that if it wasn't for the internet, and the warm community that we have, I still would've called myself lazy, and not good enough solely for the reason that I am just not able to work at the same level as my peers who are neurotypical. I have been ostrasized from society since I turned 10. People started finding that I was different from the rest. I did not know why yet and for years I thought that there was just something wrong with me. I was bullied for being who I am. They didn't want to team up with me. No boy was ever interested in me. All of my friends that I did have were in one way or another neurodivergent. I have been at two seperate therapists, and both did not know what was going on with me, because I did not know that what I was struggling with wasn't what others were struggling with. What I was dealing with wasn't normal. And I know that now. However, now that I have all of this information and tools I am just no longer able to pay for another therapist visit. 

I think that saying that "you can't self diagnose" and "those tiktok videos are bad" is hurtful to me and people like me. Because finally I had found my oasis with people who are like me, who will not judge me because we went through similar situations. It strengthens me, and it gives me something to fall back on whenever I don't know how to deal with a situation. 

For so long we thought that autism and ADHD had a specific look. This is a terrible prejudice and one that has really made my life into the terrible mess that it is now. If it wasn't the case, I would've gotten the help that I needed back in elementary school. But I did not. Because I was a girl, who tried her best to fit in (and ultimately failed) and even when I failed people still told me that I couldn't possibly have ADHD, because I was such a good student. Never mind me never learning for an exam or assignment, and still passing it. I never did my homework and it annoyed teachers but they never figured they'd get me checked out. I only learned how to properly do assignments on time in my 20s. and Even now I struggle with starting them when I need to.

autism, ADHD and every other mental disability (If I am allowed to call it that) does not have a specific look. Of course there are symptoms that most have which makes up the diagnosis, but for many, it shows in different ways because everyone is built differently. People tend to forget that a lot. What I mean to say is, there are probably many more people out there who were flying under the radar like me, and who always thought that they are just a terrible person and that they need to try harder. It is a blessing for them to then find out that they are in fact not so weird after all, and that there is help out there.

In the end I think that the internet and the mental health community online comes with more benefits than drawbacks, and that we should just make sure that people at least get educated with trustable sources if they like me are not able to get an official diagnosis at this time. We need to encourage the sharing of each others stories, tools how to deal with it, and anything else. If we are going to gatekeep this, we should do it responsibly. Shutting people out can result in making someone's mental health journey so much harder. It could even result in someone committing suicide. Because I know I sure have been very close. We have to help each other and build each other up. We are the mental health community. Even if someone suspected to have ADHD or autism (or both) and it's not, it could always turn out to be something else. You just cannot judge what is in someone's mind. Especially not when we are talking over the internet, in written form. You don't know someone's story, you can't see into their mind. Give them the resources they need and leave it at that.

No. My mental disabilities aren't "cute" or "quirky." No. not everyone feels like this.

So, that's it for today. I had this on my heart for so long and I needed to write it down. I don't even know wether someone will read this anyway. So if you do, hi! Thank you for reading my little rant. I hope my other blog posts will be a little more lighthearted. So if you would like to, you can stay around and read whenever I post something new! Hope to see you there! :)